one word: firstdatebathroomanal
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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