Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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