I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
