It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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