Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
