careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
