I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize