Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
