so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
