Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
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You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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