Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
another moral hangover. fuck.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
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Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.