I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Randomize
