Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.