Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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