Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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