Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
