another moral hangover. fuck.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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