too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
