ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
