I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
We are all done wearing pants today
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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