his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
