playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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