yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I am one with the molecules
My vagina is very pro this idea
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
