They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
