I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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