I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
