the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
