dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
