I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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