make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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