nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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