dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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