Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
