My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
