i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
