I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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