A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
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