Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize