Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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