so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
