Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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