Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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