Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
