Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
