I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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