What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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