I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
