I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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