I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
