This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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