I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I faked an abortion last night.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
