he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
