i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
