I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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