I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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