please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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