she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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