I'm eating all of the evidence.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
