Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
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he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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