do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
