im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
