I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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